Radical SEO Transparency

AI SEO Roast

Our AI will brutally, honestly tear apart your website's SEO — then show you exactly how to fix it.

No sugarcoating. No fluff. Just radically transparent SEO analysis that actually improves rankings.

Get Your Free SEO Roast

Enter your website URL below for an instant analysis. No signup required.

How It Works

1

Submit Your URL

Paste any page URL. The free scan fetches that page plus your robots.txt, sitemap and llms.txt. No signup.

2

Get Two Scores

A classic SEO score and an AI Visibility score, each with a pass, warn or fail line per check.

3

Get Your Roast

Fix it yourself from the findings, or order the full 30+ point audit and let us handle the implementation.

What Is an SEO Roast?

An SEO roast is a blunt website audit: it tells you what is wrong with a page and why it matters, without the padding. This one also checks something most SEO checkers skip, which is whether AI assistants like ChatGPT, Claude and Perplexity can fetch your page, read it and cite it. Their crawlers (GPTBot, ClaudeBot, PerplexityBot) do not run JavaScript, so a page that only renders in the browser can look empty to them.

The free scan looks at the single URL you enter. It checks these 15 things:

Classic SEO (6 checks)

  • HTTP status: the page loads with a 200
  • HTTPS: the page is served securely
  • Title tag: present and a sensible length
  • Meta description: present and a sensible length
  • H1: exactly one main heading
  • Open Graph tags: link previews on social and chat apps

AI Visibility (9 checks)

  • Crawlability: the page can be fetched at all
  • robots.txt: reachable and readable
  • AI crawler access: GPTBot, ClaudeBot, PerplexityBot and CCBot not blocked
  • Server-rendered text: real content in the HTML, not just a script shell
  • Structured data: JSON-LD that describes the page
  • llms.txt: a plain-text guide for language models
  • Canonical URL: one preferred address for the page
  • Sitemap: discoverable from robots.txt or the usual path
  • Attribution signals: an author and a publish date a model can cite

The free scan does not measure page speed, Core Web Vitals, mobile layout, images or internal links. Those are in the $49 full report, which covers 30+ checks across the site.

Choose Your Roast

Full SEO Roast

Comprehensive analysis and fix guide.

$49

One-time purchase

✓30+ technical SEO checks
✓Prioritized fix list by impact
✓Competitor comparison snapshot
✓Structured data analysis
✓Mobile & Core Web Vitals review
✓Delivered within 24 hours
Best Value

SEO Roast + Fix

We do the work. You get the results.

$199

One-time purchase

✓Everything in the Full Roast
✓We implement every fix
✓Meta tags, structured data, alt text
✓Internal linking optimization
✓Follow-up verification scan
✓Delivered within 48 hours

Questions? We've Got Answers.

How long does the scan take?

Our free scanner returns results in 30-60 seconds. The full SEO Roast report is delivered within 24 hours.

What does the free SEO roast check?

The free scan runs 15 checks on one page: 6 classic SEO checks (status, HTTPS, title, meta description, H1, Open Graph) and 9 AI Visibility checks (crawlability, robots.txt, AI crawler access, server-rendered text, structured data, llms.txt, canonical, sitemap, attribution). The $49 full report adds 30+ checks including Core Web Vitals, mobile usability, internal linking and images.

Can I get just the report, or do I need to buy fixes?

Both! Our Full SEO Roast ($49) gives you a comprehensive report with a prioritized fix list. Our SEO Roast + Fix ($199) includes implementation.

How is this different from other SEO tools?

We use AI to go deeper than surface-level checks. Our analysis prioritizes fixes by real business impact, not just technical scores.

What if my site has custom technology?

We work with any website tech stack. Our AI operator can handle custom implementations, headless setups, and unusual architectures.

Ready to roast your SEO?

Get instant insights with our free scanner, then go deeper with a full audit. No contracts. No subscriptions. Just transparent, results-driven SEO.